Arranging a Funeral

Arranging a Funeral

Not everyone knows that they have the right to a funeral in their parish church, even if they and the person who has died have not been church-goers. Nor do practising Christians always realise that they can have a Communion service as part of the funeral.

Our clergy at St Mary's regard the taking of funerals as an important part of their work. They give a lot of time to visiting families, comforting those who are facing loss, finding out what service they want to use and helping them to arrange it.

If one of the clergy is to be asked to take the service, please do this before any other funeral arrangements are made to make sure someone is free and available. Ring the Parish Office on 0191 251 4216 (mornings are best). If we did not know the person who has died, it would help to provide some details, especially if there is to be an address at the funeral.

The funeral director plays a very important part in all these arrangements and will want to know if the funeral is to be in church or if the service is to be taken at the crematorium. Funeral directors know the local clergy, the local cemeteries and the crematoria.

Do have a look at the Church of England website (www.cofe.anglican.org/lifeevents/funerals); it contains a lot of useful information and reflection on funerals and support for families.

Why choose a Christian funeral?

Newsletter interview with Rev Eileen Noble, Associate Priest at St Mary’s

(Easter 2010)

NL: Eileen, why do you think so many funerals these days take place without any church or Christian input?

EN: Increasingly, but quite mistakenly, there seems to be a view that people who never or rarely went to church can’t have a funeral in church. Anyone can have a Christian funeral - in church, at the crematorium, or at the graveside. We’re always pleased to discuss with families just what they want in a funeral. The whole service can take place either at the crematorium or in church followed by the committal at the crematorium.  If the service is in church, mourners don’t  have to go to the crematorium afterwards; the committal can be said at the church door. We’re happy to conduct green funerals too. We can also receive the body into church the night before the funeral, with a short service.

NL: But why should families of a non-believer want a religious service?

EN: None of us knows exactly what happens as we approach death. Very few people are out-and-out atheists. Many today may not call themselves Christian but they do have a belief in God. Who’s to say what thoughts a person may have at the moment of death? A Christian funeral is about love and hope in life beyond this earthly existence. It’s about the celebration of a person’s life and thanking God for it.  We don’t have to know the deceased person personally to be able to convey something of the essence of them and commend them to God’s love and mercy.  A funeral should be a positive experience for those attending, that helps in the grieving process - and our support doesn’t end when the funeral’s over. 

NL: You probably read about the Anglican priest who said he was fed up with officiating at cremations where people with no faith were ‘processed’ to blasts of Tina Turner ?

EN: I’ve already mentioned the impossibility of knowing what the deceased person really thought or wanted at the moment of death, unless they’ve left some prior instructions.  It can be very helpful to set down your own funeral preferences in advance and we’re always happy to help people to think it through. This can spare grieving relatives having to make all sorts of difficult decisions when they’re upset, and not in the best frame of mind. As to music, fewer people know any ‘churchy’ music these days. Whilst clergy will be happy to advise on hymns etc, if a favourite popular tune helps in the grieving process, there’s nothing wrong with that.

NL: So to sum up, why should people who are thinking of arranging a humanist funeral think again?

EN: If that’s what they want, it’s their choice. But I wouldn’t like to think anyone was making a decision at a stressful time based on some incorrect or outdated idea of Christian funerals. If anyone’s in doubt, we’d be honoured to give them our support, prayers and advice.

If you have a query about a funeral, please ring the Parish Office on 0191 251 4216